Comedienne Wendy Liebman

• People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!
• My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
• I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
• My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.
• Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.