My notes in preparation for the Coaching CD

How did you get into coaching?

· Pastor for several years
· MA in counseling, Gordon Conwell
· New Life -Assessment Counselor
· My personal coaching experience (Dave McIlrath)
o work issues
o time management
o Life purpose
o financial
o weight
o parenting
o I wasn't told what to do, but was helped to find what works best for me!
· Individual coaching for new life
· Group coaching for new life

What is coaching? (definition)

· Helping people reach their goals
· Helping people turn their good intentions into reality
· Helping people get unstuck

The Philosophy of coaching (underlying assumptions)

· The client sets the agenda
· The client is the expert about the client
· Failure does not exist. Only learning experiences
· The client provides the motivation. The coach helps discover it or unblock it or increase it.
· The coach's primary role is NOT to give advice.
· The coach is not so much an expert in any particular area as much as he is an expert in change. A catalyst.
· The Holy Spirit is an active participant in the whole process, from beginning to end.
· Coaching is indivividualized. One size does not fit all. Treats each person as unique.

Typical issues dealt with in coaching (anything)

· Life purpose
· physical health
· emotional health
· spiritual health
· financial issues
· boundaries
· job/career issues
· relocation issues
· marriage and family relationships
· Divorce readjustment
· dating
· business management
· people management
· time management
· uncluttering

The most important coaching technique: Asking the right questions!!

· To know the client, inside and out
· To clarify goals, dreams, desires, values
· To brainstorm possible action steps
· To uncover or address potential obstacles
· To troubleshoot motivation issues
· To help form effective action steps
o concrete: measurable action, by when?
o Realistic: Enough time, energy, resources, motivation?
o Flexible: A target range. Contingency plans.
o Frosting: Things to do to make the action more likely.
· To evaluate: How did it go? What can we learn?

Is coaching Christian?

· That depends largely on the coach and the client.
o Are they pursuing God's goals and purpose for the client?
o Are they using God's methods to reach those goals and purposes?
o Is the coach facilitating the work of the Holy Spirit in the client's life, or replacing it?
§ Did Jesus use coaching principles? (Yes, pointed questions.)
§ Why do you worry?
§ What can you give?
§ Why are you so afraid?
§ What do you want?
§ How much are you willing to pay?
§ What do you have?
§ Who do you say I am?
§ Do you want to be well?
§ Why do you doubt?
§ Do you love me?

What is the difference between therapy, counseling, and coaching
(In practice, there is a lot of overlap. It depends on the boundaries of the professional.)

· Therapy is an internally broken or hurting person going to a doctor or parental figure to receive empathy, healing, mending, personality development. Focus on the past.
· Counseling is a person who is facing some kind of difficult or unfamiliar situation who goes to an expert for guidance, advice, and tools. Focus on the present.
· Coaching is a relatively “fixed” person who has a goal or a dream, or just wants to be all that they can be, going to a partner who will help them move forward and accomplish things. Focus on the future.
· CAR analogy: Therapy would be going to the mechanic cause you're not running right. Counseling would be like going to driving school to learn how to handle all kinds of situations. Coaching would be like going to a travel agency and picking a destination and mapping a route.

Some advantages of coaching

· You don't have to have a problem (something wrong with you) or a diagnosis or label.
· Convenience. Heavy use of phone and email. No geographical limitations.
· Can address several types of issues or goals without changing coaches.
· Usually more affordable.
· You don't have to quit when you're feeling good!

ROLE PLAY

· Clarify the goal or desire.
· Explore history. What have you tried? What worked best?
· Brainstorm options
· Explore resources
· Determine action step.
o Concrete
o realistic
o flexible
o frosting

Who is a good candidate for a coaching experience?

· Someone who is relatively healthy, mentally and emotionally.
· Someone who has a goal or desire for change or accomplishment, or who wants to make the most of their life.
· Someone who is willing to invest the time, money, and effort in the process.

Characteristics of a good coach

· Lets you set the agenda
· More interested in asking good questions than giving you the answers
· Sensitive to the Holy Spirit and to you
· Dependable, safe, good rapport, etc. (personal qualities)
· Life experience
· Formal education and certification (No official government licensing exists at this time.)
o TLC -Transformational Leadership Coaching (Regent U)
o ICF -International Coaching federation
§ Recommendation from a friend, or organization you trust.

What is group coaching, and how does it differ from individual coaching?

· Several people at the same time with a coach.
· The topic/issue is well defined and doesn't change.
· There is usually some kind of prescribed teaching and/or homework.

Some advantages of group coaching

· Learn from the experience of others, not just your own.
· Inter-member support and accountability
· Again, geography is not an issue. (ex: Hawaii, Alaska, California, Florida, Ontario, Illinois, Japan, Korea.)

What groups does New Life currently offer?

· Every Man's Battle
· Lose it for Life
· Healing is a Choice
· Boundaries

What groups has new life had in the past or is considering in the future?

· every heart restored
· life purpose
· divorce
· marriage
· add/organization
· spiritual growth
· 12 steps
· church leaders

Final thoughts

· a privilege to work for New Life, and do what I do
· Contact information

Other crap
· “Christian Coaching” by Gary Collins
· Examples of success
o XXX-confronting people, job decisions, parenting, weight
o YYY-marriage, time management, mother,
o ZZZ -self-esteem, dating, time management, masculinity issues