This journey is my own

I have been more fully aware lately how much I care about what people think of me. I don't want them to look down on me, misjudge my motives, criticize me, reject me. I don't want them to get angry with me or hurt my feelings. I want their approval and praise.

Although those things are pretty normal, sometimes they can be an idol that gets in the way of me doing what God wants me to do.

This song from Sara Groves says it much better than I could...

When I stand before the Lord, I'll be standing alone
This journey is my own
Still I want man's advice, and I need man's approval
but this journey is my own
Why would I want to live for man and pay the highest price?
What would it mean to gain the world, only to lose my life?

So much of what I do is to make a good impression
This journey is my own
So much of what I say is to make myself look better
This journey is my own

I have never felt relief like I feel it right now
This journey is my own
'Cause trying to please the world it was breaking me down, it was breaking me down
Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one
Now I live and I breath for an audience of one
Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one
'cause I know this journey is my own

You can live for someone else, and it will only bring you pain

I can't even judge myself.
Only the Lord can say, "Well done"
"This journey is my own" Conversations CD

Seeking God's approval or man's...

Many people, including some of the Jewish leaders, believed in him. But they wouldn't admit it to anyone because of their fear that the Pharisees would expel them from the synagogue. For they loved human praise more than the praise of God. (John 12:42-43, NLT)

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. (Galatians 1:10, NIV)

We speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts. (1 Thessalonians 2:4, NIV)

Examples of fearing man...

No one would say anything publicly about him [Jesus] for fear of the Jews. (John 7:13, NIV)

When he [Peter] first arrived, he ate with the Gentile Christians, who don't bother with circumcision. But afterward, when some Jewish friends of James came, Peter wouldn't eat with the Gentiles anymore because he was afraid of what these legalists would say. (Galatians 2:12, NLT)

Jesus' example...

Your approval or disapproval means nothing to me, because I know you don't have God's love within you... You gladly honor each other, but you don't care about the honor that comes from God alone. (John 5:41-44, NLT)

Standing before the LORD alone on judgment day...

For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done. (Matthew 16:27, NIV)

Yes, each of us will have to give a personal account to God. (Romans 14:12, NLT)

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. (2 Corinthians 5:10, NIV)

And behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to give to every one according to his work. (Revelation 22:12, NKJV)

The LORD's promise...

Do not be afraid that some plan conceived behind closed doors will be the end of you. Do not fear anything except the LORD Almighty. He alone is the Holy One. If you fear him, you need fear nothing else. (Isaiah 8:12-13, NLT)

Amen

Every marriage

I came across two books recently that I would put on the "must read" list for all couples.

• Every Man's Marriage, by Steve Arterburn and Fred Stoeker
• Every Woman's Marriage, by Shannon and Greg Ethridge

Very solid, down to earth, Christian "manuals" for how to be a godly husband or wife in the real world today. Easy to read and understand with lots of great, practical insights and tips that work.

They're both available from www.newlife.com .

Developing your inner circle

WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN POTENTIAL CANDIDATES FOR YOUR INNER CIRCLE

Your inner circle are the 2 or 3 people with whom you have a close, open, vulnerable, mutually supportive relationship. If you don't have 2 or 3 yet and want to know what to look for, her are some good tips.

• Character (i.e., safe, dependable, confidential, mature)
• Click (you “get” each other, similar intersts, etc.)
• Need (they need more connection in their life, just like you do)
• Desire (they want to invest in a mutual relationship with you)
• Ability (They have the time, energy, and skills available to use for this)

If these 5 components are present you have great potential for a strong connection, like 2 pieces of a puzzle locking well together. If any one of these 5 are not present, they just won't be able to be part of your inner circle, no matter how much you desire it and work for it. They may still end up connecting with you in some way, and your lives may touch, but they won't be part of your inner circle. They may end up being one of the 12? If they have all these 5 qualities in a huge way, they may end up being your # 1, you “soul mate.”

(Taken from commandment # 2 "Connect with others" from my "10 commandments of long-term, successful weight loss" found at http://www.newlife.com/Programs/lifl/coachdoug.asp )

The Balance

Up late because I can't sleep
Enmeshed in the extremes
Until now I've taken delight in non-conformity, extremity, fire
Those things are good indeed
But every ocean has a shore
Shallow water
A place to just wade and frolic and laugh

-By my friend Meghan

I never heard you ask me for that!

When it comes to relationships most of us men want you ladies to be very clear and specific what you want from us. It's the only thing we understand.

We don't pick up easily on all the non-verbal cues and what is going on in your head and heart and voice tone. And we don't read between the lines very well. We're not good with "clues." We're kinda like computers. We do what we're asked. No more, no less!

That may be an overgeneralization, but let me give you some examples of what doesn't work.

• Isn't that nice how they're holding hands at such an old age?
• I've been learning a lot in Bible study about living simply.
• I wish you were a better Father.
• I'm depressed.
  

Things that do work.

• It's been a long time since we've held hands. Next time we're in public would you hold my hand? It would make me sooo happy!
• God has really provided for us very well. Sometimes I think it would be great if we moved into a smaller place and gave the proceeds to Mother Terersa. Is that something we could talk about when we're on vacation next week?
• I'm concerned that the kids aren't seeing you enough and I was wondering if you would be willing to come home early one day a week, say 4pm and spend a couple of hours with them before dinner.
• I'm depressed because I'm so busy and never seem to have enough time to keep up with my responsibilities. Would you tell me you're proud of me for all the hard work I do? That would so help me make it through.
  

Come on... you can do it. Work with us. We're not all that complicated!!!! lol

Who's there?

I was reading 1 Samuel chapter 3 this morning and was struck by something in verse 1.

The word of the Lord was rare and precious in those days; there was no frequent or widely spread vision. (Amplified Bible)

The text goes on to say that the Lord called to Samuel three times during the night, and neither he nor Eli (the priest) knew what it was. Eli finally figured it out, like he drudged up a faint memory of the Lord communicating with his people in the past.

What is my point? Well, if you and the people around you are not used to hearing God, you may not recognize him when he calls.

Also, that there may be seasons of less or greater revelation in our lives or in the life of the church as a whole. It would be good not to confuse them.

TBN telethon

If you need all your problems solved, ailments cured, loved ones saved, and debts cancelled, be sure to tune in to TBN this week, claim your miracle, step out in faith, believe that God will take you to the next level, tell the devil he's a liar, pick up the phone, call TBN, and plant a seed! Quick, there are 3 lines open!

Touch your neighbor and say, "I'm going to the next level!"

The veil

I have been thinking a lot lately about veils. Something that shrouds or covers or separates.

It started with reading AW Tozer's book, "The Pursuit of God." In one chapter he talks about how in the first covenant God was accessible to the people only through elaborate rituals and requirements, and then only by one person from the whole nation, and only on one day of the year!! That high priest could go through the veil into the holy of holies to actually meet with God. Not just talk about him or learn about him or obey him. To meet with him!

And now that God has torn the veil, we all have access to the holy of holies because of the blood of Christ. He has removed the veil!

The problem is that we have veils of our own making. Our doubt and unbelief. Our unconfessed sin. Our absorbtion in the world. The wiles of the devil.

This song by Sara Groves has been going through my head a lot lately...

Hello Lord, it's me your child. I have a few things on my mind
Right now I'm faced with big decisions, and I'm wondering if you have a minute
Right now I don't hear so well and I was wondering if you could speak up
I know that you tore the veil so I could sit with you in person,
and hear what you're saying
But right now, I just can't hear you
(from "Hello Lord" -Conversations CD)

I guess I know that the veil has been torn, but I want more of my veil removed, so I can meet with God directly, in the holy of holies, in all his power and majesty.

Oh thou great Jehovah, help me to remove the veils in my own heart that I might see you. For this I live.

How to get rich and fit at the same time...

I got a custodial job at my church last week. It's about 6 hours of active labor split between saturday night and sunday afternoon for about $100.

Not only is the money helpful... but i'm getting good exercise!!! I was pretty dang tired when i went to bed last night though... zzzzz

picasso -2

5 more that I like. Click on pic to see full-sized image.

Picasso -1

I once looked through about 2,000 picasso paintings online and tried to pick my favorite ones. What a job! It was interesting to see how his paintings had changed over the years as he experimented with and developed new styles. I seem to have a thing for the "cubism" style.

In any case, here are some of the ones I liked the most. Although I do find my taste changing over time, and how I connect with various of his works. (There are several posts with picasso pictures because i could only put 5 photos in each post. If they are not right in a row after or before these you can put "picasso" in the "search this blog" field at the top of the page and it will bring up all of them.)

Click on the pic to see it full sized.

To create your own Picasso masterpiece click here!

Art I like

Here are a couple of paintings my monet and van gough that i like.

What is gray?

A melted penguin.

Plateaus

Someone asked me recently if "plateaus" were ok in weight loss. My answer was an enthusiastic yes!

I think in all areas of our life there are spurts of growth followed by periods of stabilization and incorporation. Sometimes we need to get used to the "new us!" Progress in life is anything but a straight line. In fact, many times we would do well to plateau vs go backwards!!

So be grateful for your plateaus. They are seasons to readjust, catch your breath, enjoy, and then you can tackle the next mountain.

Surfing USA

I just came back from a time of discussion and prayer with my English brother Merv. I'd like to share some of what the Lord told him about me in our prayer time.

• That the skills and abilities that God has given me are like a surfboard, and through dependence on the Holy Spirit I can "ride the waves." I really identified with that because I feel like my life in the Spirit is an adventure, and that the storms are not to be feared, but in some odd way enjoyed! Riding above the waves instead of being sunk in them is much to be preferred. And I like the wind in my hair, the spray on my face, and the son on my back.
• That God has made me an equipper... to help broken birds heal, and get strong, and stay content until God opens the door of the cage and they are released to be where they really belong. I do feel strongly about helping people to be and do what they were originally created to be and do. I think I also see that sometimes God has opened the door of the cage and they need a little pushing out! lol
• He thought that God was telling him something about a "variable trust." Neither he nor I have much of an idea what that is, but it had something to do with helping me to financially be more free to minister, without the constraints of a "job."

Please pray for my brother Merv. He is a true man of God, and extemely sensitive to the Holy Spirit. He has been in full time ministry before, both in England and the US. But it has been some years now that he's been in a kind of "pause" season, and it's very hard for him.

One of the things he has been talking about lately is arranging trips of 20 people or so to go to his home town in England and help people discover things of religious and cultural and historical significance. For example, he grew up a couple of miles from where the Pilgrims came from. And lots of connections with the Wesleys and other religious leaders that are part of our heritage. Between he and his wife they could take care of all the arrangments and details before and during the trip, and Merv would serve as tour guide. The missing piece at this point is the marketing. How to let people know about this so we can get enough people to sign up and make it happen. Maybe a test trip with 10 people, to start out with. If you have any ideas or connections, let me know. Thanks.

Overwhelming love...

Two mornings ago I told God what I needed from him was, "overwhelming love, your great embrace, squeeze tight." (exact words from my prayer journal) That is a very unusual thing for me to ask for... usually i ask for peace and strength. It was definitely something out of my routine. And why not just say that I needed love? Why did I say overwhelming love? Weird.

Last night I was instant messaging a new acquaintance and she said she was suddenly starting sense God's presence very strongly. What follows is her exact words messaged to me...

>I know as far back as I remember when I would hold a baby I would feel something like transfer to them. I think it is the love of God that is in me
>God's love is powerful warm, very warm but not hot, covering everywhere. I have such a powerful amount of love it's unbelieveable. I have a LOVE ministry
>do you remember the most loved and secure feeling you've ever had?
> multiply that by 100000000000000000000000000
>God is so here with me right now
>love is pouring out of me
>He has filled me to overflowing
>overwhelming love and his presence
>AWESOME
>want me to send you some?
>(emoticon of a hug, a heart, and an angel)

Overwhelming love... I didn't even put two and two together until today when i woke up and remembered that i had written something about love in my prayer journal. So i went and looked it up to see what i had said. "I need your overwhelming love, your great embrace, squeeze tight."

I think God sent one of his angels to give me specifically what i was asking for.

Coincidence?

Prosperity and blessing for all...

It bothers me when i see the television preachers declare to everyone in the building and everyone listening that "this is your year of blessing," or "season of blessing." The airwaves are typically ripe with this talk in December/January. It typically gets lots of cheers and shouting and clapping. Don't we all want the next season to be the good one??

1. So we're all going to have the same season at the same time? Not likely. And that makes those of us who are having a season of grief, or doubt, or sickness feel like we must not be with the times, or the current move of God.
2. It's always a "positive" season. No one ever says, "2006 is going to be a time of severe poverty and testing. Get ready." It would be more believable if it was ever something besides, "Good times are just around the corner!"

God, please protect your sheep...

Favor

2 days ago I thought God was saying to me... "You are entering a phase of prosperity and blessing."

This morning I went to see my psychiatrist. Coming out to pay my bill, got my credit card out, and the woman says, "No charge. You have a credit."

Then I went over to Tire Kingdom for a long overdue oil change. I missed the $14.95 special which ended last week, so I had to pay $19.95 + all those fees that creep in, so it was over $26. I was kind of kicking myself for procrasting and thereby having to pay $5 more than I would have. I sat there for a half hour and the guy walks over with my keys and says, "This one's on us. Our computers are frozen so this $26 oil change is free today. Have a good day."

Coincidences?

My passions, loves, and interests

PASSIONS

KNOWING GOD This may be the longest and most consistent passion of all. I have always wanted to know God, to understand him, to be in a relationship with him. When the Bible says that Moses spoke to God as a man speaks to a man... that's knowing God.

TRUTH I have always had a passion for truth. I can’t stand easy and simplistic answers. I always like to dig deeper, synthesize data from all sources, poke holes in common beliefs, etc. Eagerly pursue and get at truth.

LEARNING, RESEARCH, DISCOVERY, AND ANALYSIS I am very curious, and like to research and discover new things. I get a question in my head and am driven to research and analyze until I come up with an answer. Obviously, this goes hand in hand with my passion for truth. I am constantly driven to learn something new. A new field, subject, problem, etc. I use the internet a lot for this, as well as anything on TV that is of an educational nature.

ROMANTIC LOVE The full expression of two people committed to a lifelong pursuit of oneness in body, mind, and spirit.

BIBLE I have always had a passion for understanding the Bible. Most of the time it has seemed confusing and contradictory and difficult to apply in any meaningful way to my personal life. Even though growing up in a Christian home with much bible reading, church attendance, Christian radio, Christian college, Bible College, being a pastor, Seminary, etc…. I still did not feel like I really understood it very well. However, the more I learn (about myself, life and the Bible), the more fascinating it becomes. There is sooo much there.

COMPUTERS, INTERNET, TECHNOLOGY Ever since I was little I liked knowing about and getting and using the latest gadgets. Read popular science as a kid. Reel to reel tape recorders gave way to cassette, which gave way to cd’s. 8mm home movies gave way to video recorders, to camcorders. Digital cameras. Stereo systems, components. Black and white tv’s gave way to color, to cable. Rotary phones gave way to touchtone, to cordless, to car phones, to cell phones. But then COMPUTERS! The door was now open. I had a computer in 1989. I only knew one other person who had one. Dos, Windows 3.1, 95, 2000, ME, XP… Had ‘em all. Then, INTERNET! Pandora’s box now open to the world of knowledge… Started with a 2400 baud modem, 9600, 14,400, 56k, then cable! The interenet is fascinating to me… As a kid I used to read encyclopedias for fun. Now I have the world of knowledge at my fingertips! Add to that email, Instant Message, chat rooms, bulletin boards, voice chat, video cams… and the world of communicating with the world opened. Always an advocate at my jobs for using technology to the greatest advantage for the benefit of employees and customers. Very comfortable around most computer programs. Have an intuitive knowledge about how they work, and how they should work!

ORGANIZING, SYSTEMITIZING, CLASSIFYING, GROUPING, CLARIFYING As this exercise is an example, I love to break down a mess of data into it’s component parts and lay them out and group them appropriately. I can do this with things, but mainly with ideas and information. Groups, sub-groups, inter-relations, etc. The effort is to make it clear and understandable for me, and for others.

MY CHILDREN I love my children, care deeply about them, and am passionate about their spiritual/psychological growth.

ENVISIONING/INVENTING I love to imagine what could be… whether it is an idea, a solution, a vision. I have the eyes to see… what could be, not just what is. I have a fertile, creative mind.

LOVES

MUSIC I love music… listening to it, playing it, etc. I am an amateur musician –singing, guitar, keyboard, drums. Mainly like popular music of all genres. I have enjoyed being in choirs, bands, etc. I've written a couple of songs.

SOCIAL SCIENCES Any study, observation, or analysis of the human being… psychology, sociology, anthropology, religion, etc. How human beings function. And then, more particularly how it relates to Christianity.

LANGUAGE AND FOREIGN LANGUAGES I love words and meanings. I love to be precise and accurate and clear with my speech. I love the Romance languages (French, Spanish, Italian, Latin, Portuguese). I speak French fluently. I have a passing acquaintance with Spanish. I love to see the correlation in the vocabulary between these various languages.

CATALYST FOR CHANGE I love to intervene in people’s lives in such a way that it has a big impact in a short time. In other words, my encounter with them becomes a pivot point, setting them in a new direction, helping them get unstuck, putting my finger on the problem, etc. I’m not that passionate about the “maintenance” part.

HELPING OTHER SUCEED I am driven to try to help others succeed, whether it is information, training, or tools. I was a customer service “coach” for P&G and really enjoyed helping the phone agents and the team as a whole be as good and sharp and successful as they could be. I coach people individually and in groups in my job now. I would rather help others succeed than succeed myself.

HELPING ORGANIZATIONS RUN WELL Wherever I work I tend to have lots of ideas about how to make things run better… Work flow, communication flow, systems, tools, vision and mission, organizational structure, employee morale, etc.

INTERESTS

PUBLISHING/PRODUCING Helping people (or myself) get their works published or produced. Writing, poetry, art, music, etc. Have interest in helping them in terms of critiquing and modifying and perfecting their words, as well as helping them get launched/sold.

NATURE I like the outdoors, woods, rivers, oceans, mountains, scenery. Wind, rain, clouds, etc. Storms are cool.

COMMUNICATION Writing and Speaking. Mainly writing. I can speak (phone, small groups, large groups, etc.), but typically prefer to write.

ART I have a lot of appreciation for art and artists… mainly painting, although I have never studied it seriously. I love colors. Beauty in all forms. At times I have done quite a bit in the way of photography.

CRITIC Although I have not done much in a formal way, I would really like to be a critic… of music, books, movies, politics, events, etc. I think I have a great ability to observe or experience and then to give a highly readable, yet critical, description and analysis.

POLITICS I have had a life-long interest in presidential politics, particularly elections.

HEALTH Issues relating to a healthy lifestyle... eating and exercise.

CREATIVE WORKS I have fantasies of writing books. I have also thought how cool it would be to write/direct a movie.

What season are you in?

I've been thinking about seasons lately. Seasons of growth. Seasons of maintaining and incorporating growth. Seasons of prosperity. Seasons of austerity and reigning in. Seasons of joy. Seasons of grief. Seasons of work. Seasons of rest. Seasons of ministry. Seasons of being ministered unto.

As the writer of Ecclesiastes said...

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, NIV)


What may be right for you to do during one season of your life may not be right during another season of your life. Therefor, it's important to know which season you are in!

Too often we think of the Christian life as one long "constant." Is it not ok to admit that sometimes we are in a season of "_________" and then focus on the task required of us during that season, even though that may take us out of our normal routine?

Think of Jesus. He had seasons of temptation. Seasons of glory. Seasons of fun and laugter. Seasons of great grief. Seasons of obscurity. Seasons of great popularity. Seasons of preparation. Seasons of activity. However, I believe that Jesus was quite in touch with the seasons his Father had prepared for him and was guiding him into ant through.

Once we accept the premise that there are "seasons" in our life, what if we apply what the Bible tells us about God's role seasons? Daniel 2:20-21 (NIV) says...

"Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever;
wisdom and power are his.
He changes times and seasons;
he sets up kings and deposes them."
Daniel 2:20-21 (NIV)

Don't you think that since God is in control of the times and seasons even of kings, that he is not in control of your seasons? Is that comforting? Scarey? Can you thank him for the season that you're in, even if it's not comfortable?

Yes, we'd like to think we choose our seasons. But life works better when you get in synch with the seasons God has planned for you. What season does he have you in now? What is the main point of this season? What is your main task during this season?

You may need to get out your Bermuda shorts. Then again, it may be time for sweaters. They're both very hip, but not too helpful during the wrong season.

PS No white after Labor Day...

Special thanks to Meghan Hoover for her help with the scriptural research on this article.

Me and Osama

I just found out that me and bin Laden have more in common than I thought. We both had quite the crush on Whitney Huston in the 90's! Great minds...

Who do people in Connecticut root for?

In the infamous rivalry between the Red Sox and Yankees it is easy to guess who people from Massachussetts or New York root for. But what do the people in Connecticut do? Root for both? Flip-flop based on who is ahead at the time?

Thankfully, someone thought it an important enough question to research and has come up with a map, a sort of mason-dixon line in this baseball battle. This is the article Where Do Rivals Draw the Line?

I remember when I lived in Boston and was flying to Haiti, with a transfer in New York. When I was walking down the stairs of the plane when we landed in New York the guy in front of me turned around and said, "You're in New York now." I took off my "B" cap. (I like the Red Sox, but I also like living!)

Do we warn, encourage, or take care of people?

I Thessalonians 5:14 Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone.

• Who do we warn? The lazy.
• Who do we encourage? The timid.
• Who do we take care of? The weak.
• Who are we patient with? Everyone.

It's important not to get them mixed up! Warning the timid scares them. Warning the weak leads to despair. Encouraging the lazy is useless. Encouraging the weak is meaningless. Taking care of the lazy helps them stay lazy. Taking care of the timid doesn't help them grow. And not being patient with the people you are trying to warn, encourage, or take care of means that in spite of your best intentions, it probably ain't gonna have much of a positive effect on them.

"American Beauty"

My former wife and I watched "American Beauty" when it came out on video around 2000. It's primarily about a guy struggling with mid-life issues, and meaning. I think my ex hated it as much as I liked it.

The main character was Lester Burnham, a middle-aged husband/dad/employee. Here are some of his quotes.

"Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right, I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated."

"I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up."

"This isn't life, it's just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living. Well, honey, that's just nuts. But you know what? It's never too late to get it back."

"Janie's a pretty typical teenager. Angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her."

"I always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday."

Ricky Fitts is Lester's neighbor, a misunderstood gay teenage son of a macho military father. Here are some of his quotes.

"Don't be afraid. I'm not obsessing. I'm just curious."

"She's not your friend. She's just someone you use to feel better about yourself."

"It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in."

Ricky Fitts: It's like God's looking right at you, just for a second, and if you're careful you can look right back.
Jane Burnham: And what do you see?
Ricky Fitts: Beauty.

Ricky Fitts: I was filming this dead bird.
Angela Hayes: Why?
Ricky Fitts: Because it's beautiful.

What do you have?

Acts 3:1-6

Peter and John went to the Temple one afternoon to take part in the three o'clock prayer service. As they approached the Temple, a man lame from birth was being carried in. Each day he was put beside the Temple gate, the one called the Beautiful Gate, so he could beg from the people going into the Temple. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for some money.
Peter and John looked at him intently, and Peter said, "Look at us!" The lame man looked at them eagerly, expecting a gift. But Peter said, "I don't have any money for you. But I'll give you what I have. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, get up and walk!" (NLT)

Thoughts...

• People with needs will often ask you for something.
• They usually ask you for what they think you have, that they think they need.
• Sometimes you don't have what they are asking for.
• Sometimes you have what they really need, but they don't ask you for it.
• Don't be embarrassed about what you don't have. Give them what you do have.
• Sometimes you need to give people what they really need, not what they ask for.

What kind of taker are you?

A risk taker? "One who trusts God for big or unusual things"
A caretaker? "One who loosk after the goods, property, or persons of others"
An undertaker? "One who prepares the dead for burial"

The dreaded...

When I am dreading a particular event or task or confrontation or whatever... I usually find that:

1. It isn't as easy as I wish it were.
2. It isn't as bad as I feared it was.

When do we do good?

Proverbs 3:27 Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it's in your power to help them.

Although we could debate whether we are supposed to do good to all (whether they deserve it or not), wouldn't my life be a lot simpler if I followed the advice in this verse?

Too often I "do good" to those who don't deserve it (i.e., freeloaders), and when I really don't have the means to help them anyway (time, money, talent, etc.). That has caused me an unknown amount of grief, and has kept me from really helping others.

some of my favorite scriptures

"I tell you the truth," Jesus answered, "before Abraham was born, I am!" (John 8:58, NIV)

From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. "You do not want to leave too, do you?" Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." (John 6:66-68, NIV)

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. (2 Timothy 2:15, NIV)

For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. (John 1:17, NIV)

When Jesus heard this, he told them, "Healthy people don't need a doctor--sick people do. I have come to call sinners, not those who think they are already good enough." (Mark 2:17, NLT)

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. (Mark 10:45, NIV)

But if I say, "I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot. (Jeremiah 20:9, NIV)

Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight. They asked each other, "Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?" (Luke 24:31-32, NIV)

My mission statement

My Life Pupose, Why I exist, Why God made me

• To know God personally and intimately, like Abraham, Moses, David
• To enjoy God
• To make God known to others
• To pursue truth with passion and abandon: truth about God, the world, people, the Bible, science and the cosmos, etc.
• To be a catalyst for people and organizations to discover and address their core issues in such a way that they either take giant steps foward, or change course dramatically, becoming more what God meant them to be and do
• To appreciate beauty in nature, art, music, people, etc.
• To worship God through singing and playing instruments
• To explore ruthlessly, especially uncharted territory, advancing the frontiers of knowledge
• To be a rugged individualist, not being content to follow the crowd
• To unashamedly ask the tough questions, not to increase doubt, but to increase understanding
• To be a prophetic voice to individuals and organizations, speaking truth and wisdom into them, and sometimes specifically communicating to them what I believe God wants me to say to them.
• To increasingly imitate the kind of life Jesus lived on earth.
• To be a transparent model of growth for others

What God sees in me

• An intelligent, caring, sensitive, courageous, and intuitive Christian man who has unique insight into reality, both seen and unseen, particularly related to understanding people, God, the world, and spiritual realities in general.
• A man with a profound ability to communicate this reality with clarity and conviction, using a variety of means, methods, and media, in such a way that it has life-changing impact on people and institutions and cultures.

Vision

• Seeing people, families, organizations, cultures, and nations know God better, and being and doing what God created them to specifically be and do. (Otherwise put, helping them grow, and get in line with God's will for them.)

Mission

• under construction

What I must do to get there

• Above all, keep my relationship with God sharp and in focus through deep and regular communication
• Learn constantly
• Write and produce constantly
• Situate myself in places, positions, and situations where I can serve as a catalyst of growth for people and organizations
• Have a solid support system for encouragement, correction, support, accountability, protection, advice, know-how
• Have a mentor

Challenges

• Personal issues: Pride, gluttony, lust, fear, impulsivity, boundaries
• Money: Negative cash flow
• Non-compete issues at work
• Business: Very few natural skills in business and financial issues
• No mentor
• An ok support system, but not strong enough
• Organizationally challenged: Hard for me to keep track of time, tasks, things, information, priorities
• Time: 2 jobs and 3 kids
• Impulsivity: Can get fascinated by and absorbed in so many things that come across my path

Links to TV shows I like

• 30 Days

• Trading Spouses

• The Simpsons

• The Office

• King of the Hill

• My Name is Earl

Comedienne Wendy Liebman

• People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!
• My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
• I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
• My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.
• Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.

Comedian Steven Wright

• Four years ago... No, it was yesterday.
• Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
• My girlfriend's so intense... She woke me up the other night and asked, "If you could tell exactly when and how you were going to die, would you want to know?" I said, "Heck no, why?" "Doesn't matter, just go back back to sleep..."
• When I was eight, I played Little League. I was on first; I stole third; I went straight across. Earlier that week, I learned that the shortest distance between two points was a straight line. I took advantage of that knowledge.
• I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."
• I have a decaffeinated coffee table. You'd never know it to look at it.
• One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read."
• I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it.
• Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
• If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
• If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
• What do batteries run on?
• After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
• It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
• The other day, I was walking my dog around my building--on the ledge...
• Some people are afraid of heights. Not me. I'm afraid of widths.
• I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night
• I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
• The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and doesn't stop until you get to work.
• I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time." So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
• When I was little my grandfather asked me how old I was. I said, "Five." He said, "When I was your age, I was six."
• I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking," but I don't have that much time.
• Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
• When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.
• I like to pick up hitchhikers. When they get in the car I say, "Put on your seat belt. I want to try something."
• Is my car the only one in America where someone breaks in and turns up my radio every time I park?
• If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
• What's another word for Thesaurus?
• When I was 10, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
• I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, "Yes, but not in a row."
• I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
• If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
• I took a baby shower.
• I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one... It wasn't doing what I was doing.
• I tried to draw my shadow once, but I couldn't... My arm kept moving.
• I bought a cheap piece of land... It was on someone else's property.
• I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, "Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile." I spent last summer folding it.
• Sometimes I... No, I don't.
• I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
• I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body, only 2" taller.
• When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"
• My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
• I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds.
• I was arrested for selling illegal-sized paper.
• Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... When I came back the entire area was missing.
• When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
• I bought this thing for my car. You put it on your car, it sends out this little noise, so when you drive through the woods, deer won't run in front of your car. I installed it backwards by accident.
• I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call you back when I'm out."
• For a while I didn't have a car... I had a helicopter... No place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running...
• I locked my keys in the car the other day. But it was alright, I was still inside.
• I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
• Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come over and I'm gonna say, "Go ahead, touch it... It feels real."
• I installed a skylight in my apartment.... The people who live above me are furious!
• I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done, so now I just have to fill in the rest.
• I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
• I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards. I erased all of the records.
• Last week I bought a new phone. I took it out of the box, hooked it up to the wall... Pressed redial. The phone had a nervous breakdown.
• I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap Department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
• I don't have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once.
• I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane.
• I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now.
• My neighbor has a circular driveway... He can't get out.
• I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
• I saw a sign at a gas station. It said "Help Wanted." There was another sign below it that said "Self Service." So I hired myself.
• I own the erasers for all the miniature golf pencils.
• Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... It pisses me off!
• When I was a kid, I remember seeing Smokey the Bear on TV saying, "Only you can prevent forest fires." I thought "Who? Me?" So I'd sneak out of the house in the middle of the night with a bucket of water -- "Gotta go to work."
• I invented the cordless extension cord.
• How young can you die of old age?
• I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
• My watch is three hours fast, and I can't fix it. So I'm going to move to New York.
• I like to reminisce with people I don't know. Granted, it takes longer.
• I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
• Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, "Hello?" And I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?"... They said, "Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait."
• In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
• I can levitate birds. No one cares.
• I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate has an expiration date.
• Whenever I think about the past, it just brings back so many memories.
• I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?"
• Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
• I filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify ________". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my MOTHER going to do?
• It's a good thing we have gravity, or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.
• You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
• It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
• There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
• Why is it, "A penny for your thoughts," but, "you have to put your two cents in?" Somebody's making a penny.
• I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.
• My grandma says she has eyes in the back of her head... I hope it's not hereditary.
• When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... Eventually.
• I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.
• Today I... No, that wasn't me.
• I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity.
• I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.
• The last week in August, we went camping way up in Canada. We were laying around in the woods and stuff, and I don't know how she did it but she got poison ivy on her brain and the only way she can scratch it is if she thinks about sandpaper.

My imitations

• The other day I was taking a shower, but I put it back.

A piece of presidential trivia

I was perusing a web site that tells somewhat odd details about each president, next to a photo of a plastic minaturette of each one.

Just by happenstance I noticed that 3 of the first 5 presidents died on the 4th of July. Weird.

JOHN ADAMS, d. July 4, 1826 at 90.
JEFFERSON, d. July 4, 1826 (Charlottesville, VA) at 83.
MONROE, d. July 4, 1831 (New York, NY) at 73.

What kind of oil was that again?

My daughter, Olivia, was using the sermon outline today at church, filling in the blanks provided.

Upon coming to this one... "Christian community is like ________ ____" she dutifully filled in, "annoying oil."

Kids say the darndest things.