Risk getting close to others and willing to take the risks of loving intimately. I love the truth of this comment as I have recently embraced a 12-step recovery support group where I am sensing that freedom is so close, but it feels as if I'm walking on the blade of a sharp knife; one side is life and the other side is death. Risking to be known; Risking to be heard; risking to be supported; choosing to believe that I am worth every bit of risk that is required so that I can feel again and not worry that a sleeping dragon will awaken that will cause another's pain, but being responsible for caring for my need and trusting to have the strength that another will also take the necessary risk do the same.
I am curious Doug, I read somewhere on your blog that you have grieved your losses fully. My question is: When I make a choice to forgive someone, for a wrong they've done to me, this is a wrong that deeply, deeply hurt me, impacted my personal safety, and turned my life upside down. Why is it that I am still very distressed when I see them? Why is it that I sometimes feel outrage or anger, then vasilate between compassion and seeing them as innocent? I tell myself things like they they were unwilling to do... they did not want to, and truely, they are to afraid to be authentic and real and expose themselves. I wonder if I have not fully grieved the loss and damage they causes. And, for that matter, what is fully grieved?
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Risk getting close to others and willing to take the risks of loving intimately. I love the truth of this comment as I have recently embraced a 12-step recovery support group where I am sensing that freedom is so close, but it feels as if I'm walking on the blade of a sharp knife; one side is life and the other side is death. Risking to be known; Risking to be heard; risking to be supported; choosing to believe that I am worth every bit of risk that is required so that I can feel again and not worry that a sleeping dragon will awaken that will cause another's pain, but being responsible for caring for my need and trusting to have the strength that another will also take the necessary risk do the same.
That's great! Keep on risking...
I am curious Doug, I read somewhere on your blog that you have grieved your losses fully. My question is: When I make a choice to forgive someone, for a wrong they've done to me, this is a wrong that deeply, deeply hurt me, impacted my personal safety, and turned my life upside down. Why is it that I am still very distressed when I see them? Why is it that I sometimes feel outrage or anger, then vasilate between compassion and seeing them as innocent? I tell myself things like they they were unwilling to do... they did not want to, and truely, they are to afraid to be authentic and real and expose themselves. I wonder if I have not fully grieved the loss and damage they causes. And, for that matter, what is fully grieved?
i will create a new post with this question and my response. Hopefully sometime this week.
I am waiting for the response to my qeustion. THe week is almost over.
Sorry for the delay. I've been quite sick and having a hard time keeping up with the essentials of my life the last 3 weeks.
I have tomorrow off (Monday) and promise to do it then.
I have already started it, but it is quite a complicated topic, and takes a fair amount of thought and writing.
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