November 5, 2006

connection shamekshun


I work for a company that constantly preaches "connection."

Last year i put a lot of effort into building up my personal relationships, particularly with men. But those relationships have kind of drifted for various reasons and i find myself not wanting to put the energy into building up my connections with men again. Why? Well let me try and describe all my excuses...

  • men are boring
  • men don't have an interest in true connection. i have to chase them. i do all the work.
  • men are busy
  • men talk about stuff, and want to do stuff, that i have no interest in
  • women are much easier to get along with, and more caring
  • relationships take time and effort, and i'd rather be learning or writing
  • much of the time i am not in the mental/emotional state to focus on connecting. it takes me effort to get out of my head, and often when i have the opportunity for connection i'm too tired or too grouchy.
  • everybody i can think of connecting with annoys me in some way, and i don't want to address those issues with them. i'd rather stay away. there's no perfect friend.
  • it's always going to be more work and aggravation than its worth. the cost is too high and the benefits are too low. so why even try?
  • i'll never find anyone i can feel safe enough to share the deepest secrets and parts of my heart with.
  • there's no chance for the fun of romance in the relationship.

Is that enough excuses to get me off the hook??? can i please put this silly quest to rest?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

No

Doug Doan said...

dang it!

Anonymous said...

LOL. I have most of those same excuses/complaints about women actually, so....

Anonymous said...

Ester - ditto! :-) But I learned from a very dear friend (author of this blog) who taught me to hang in there,stay connected and chose wisely. work - yes, but what is life without work?