the doctor is in

One of the people I am currently counseling was praying and asking God if she could trust me. She said that God told her, "Yes, you can trust Doug. Keep on counseling with him because he has the gift of healing the unseen."

I thought that was pretty cool!

(PS Thank you God)

Lose it for Life(style)

Core Fundamentals

• Develop a personal, intimate, daily relationship with God
• Connect daily with a Lose it for Life buddy
• Exercise 30-60 minutes per day, 5 days per week
• Attend a Lose it for Life group every week (or OA, WW, or CR)
• Do written exercises every week

The Basics

• Monitor my progress regularly
• Have goals
• Work on one thing at a time
• Plan
• Learn to love my body
• Be patient
• Stay in the present
• Stay away from negative people, places, and things
• Accept reality
• Make wise food choices
• Develop a healthy self-esteem
• Work on my relationships
• Monitor my motivation
• Face my problems
• Learn to tolerate discomfort
• Balance
• Develop community and connection
• De-stress my life
• Manage stress well
• Feel and deal with my emotions
• Get healing for old wounds
• Get a life
• Surrender to the process
• Eat regularly
• Eat protein throughout the day
• Eat whole foods
• Eat breakfast
• Journal
• Take my thoughts captive
• Get help
• Don't multi-task while eating
• Strive for progress, not perfection
• Learn to differentiate between physical hunger and other hungers
• Discover the root of my attachment to food
• Accept responsibility for the cause of and solution to this problem
• Invest time, money, and effort

Other things I may need to work on

Do strength training 2-3 x/ week
Drink 60 oz of water per day
Stay away from high calorie drinks
Find exercise that fits my personality
Find exercise that fits my body type
Get exercise equipment that will keep me safe from injury
Get exercise equipment that helps me stay motivated
Get a favorite water bottle
Exercise gradually, at my current fitness level, age, etc
Exercise at a time that works with my schedule
Stop watching so much TV
Go to bed earlier
Figure out what things need axed from my schedule
Get an exercise buddy
Incorporate physical activity into regular activities
Work on my social skills
Find ways to distract myself from food impulses
Face my fears
Develop hobbies and interests and creativity
Face my anger
Risk rejection
Give up food as my best friend
Grow on purpose
Give up obsessing about food/weight/body
Accept the reality of the impact my weight has on my health
Accept the reality of the impact my weight has on my life
Focus on the choice that is in front of me now
Have sufficient quiet time
Focus on what I can do, not on what I can't do
Seek for and apply God's wisdom
Admit my character defects and mistakes
Ask God to open my eyes to the truth about me
Ask God to open my eyes to the truth about Him
Learn to delay immediate gratification
Recognize the long-term consequences of each choice
Get plenty of rest
Control portions
Be alert to attacks from the enemy
Know the Word and apply it to my life
Have a goal for my target weight range
Have a goal for the pace of my weight loss
Give up the need to be invisible
Stop using weight as an excuse to not live
Give up my excuses
Stop self-sabotaging
Stay away from people who sabotage me
Rid my house of trigger foods
Eat only at the kitchen table
Stop eating in the car
Stop using my weight as a way to punish someone
Learn to be OK with a normal body size
Learn to deal with my sexual impulses
Learn to deal with others' sexual advances
Put in effort
Accept the reality that there will be occasional rough patches
Know the reasons why I eat, other than hunger
Have realistic expectations
Choose lower glycemic foods
Choose higher fiber foods
Stay away from refined flour and sugar
Exercise aerobically 30-60 minutes/day, 3-5x/week
Be willing to do whatever it takes
Accept that there are no simple solutions to complex problems
Shape my motivation around health, freedom, and pleasing God
Accept God's grace
Stop defining myself by what I weigh
Learn to listen to my body
Accept responsibility for my own behavior and choices
Mange my emotions, instead of them managing me
Make new, healthy connections with people
Get up after I fall
Let slips be isolated incidents, not a predictor of the future
Accept my body for what it is today
Learn to like myself
Become aware of my true needs
Seek to get my true needs met in healthy, God-honoring ways
Avoid quick-fix temptations
Want healing more than I want food
Explore the root reasons for my attachment to food
Make gradual lifestyle changes
Experience pain
Acknowledge my need for help
Seek help until I find what I need
Be open, honest, and vulnerable with God
Be open, honest, and vulnerable with trusted others
Forgive myself
Forgive others
Receive and accept forgiveness from God
Receive and accept forgiveness from others
Transform my struggle, loss, and pain into a purposeful mission
Accept my powerlessness and lack of control
Periodically measure my progress
Admit and accept my weakness
Be open to receiving God's power
Be honest with myself
Believe that all things work together for good for those that love God
Face my problems
Grieve my losses
Believe that God's plans for me are good
Record what I eat
Stop grazing
Stop overeating at a sitting
Learn to interrupt binges
Tolerate bad feelings
Get happy now, instead of waiting until you're thin
Focus on deep connections with several others
Live in the present
Get rid of the "if only"s
Stop losing weight for other people
Accept my true value
Move my expectations closer to reality
Learn moderation
Fill the emptiness with something besides food
Stop overly-restricting myself
Stop viewing certain foods as "bad"
Stop depending on others to tell me what to eat
Stop rebelling
View my body as sacred
Experience God's grace
Plan my meals ahead of time
Stop eating in front of the TV
Take the time to eat
Avoid eating 2-3 hours before bed
Increase my Basal Metabolic Rate
Discover the impact my medications have on my weight
Learn better time management skills
Study nutrition
See a nutritionist or dietitian
See a counselor or therapist
Learn to maintain weight during stressful periods
Learn my cycles... daily, weekly, monthly, annual
Look at my whole body in the mirror
Read affirmation statements
Get a physical
Discover my BMI
Increase vegetables
Increase fruit
Drastically reduce high-density calorie foods
Decrease caffeine
Decrease alcohol
Increase dairy/calcium
Choose low fat or no fat
Avoid fried foods
Learn my metabolic or blood type
Buy and cook up plenty of healthy food to have on hand
Increase my lifestyle from sedentary to active to very active
Determine the number of calories I need to lose weight, and to maintain weight
Count calories
Count points
Discover my food allergies
Put boundaries around chocolate
Make immediate corrections for overeating in my next meal
Do short-term fasts
Eat before events
Eat before grocery shopping
Avoid certain aisles of the grocery store
Avoid certain restaurants or fast food places
Limit the variety of food displayed
Limit eating during cooking
Create an enjoyable, stress-free eating environment
Sit down while eating
Use smaller plates and bowls
Put away leftovers
Limit or eliminate binge foods
Have a plan for eating out
Plan how to handle special events
Change my attitude about exercising
Exercise in short bouts throughout the day
Re-prioritize my time
Develop routines
Find healthy ways to deal with boredom
Stop eating when I am physically full
Stop cleaning my plate
Throw away food
Stop beating myself up
Stop eating in secret/hiding
Slow down when I eat
Be honest about how much I eat
Confess my sins and shortcomings to God and others
Praise God more
Take medication
Find my security in God
Refuse to believe I am a mistake
Believe that God is for me
Stop comparing myself to others
Be OK with happiness
Stop putting off unpleasant tasks
Express my feeling to God and trusted others
Determine the needs behind my feelings
Journal my thoughts and feelings
Keep a prayer journal
Listen for the Lord to speak
Identify the lies I believe
Get surgery for my heart
Stop talking negatively to myself and about myself
Never give up hope
Put a rubber band on my wrist to snap when I think negative
Keep a dysfunctional thought record
Stop obsessing about "What if"
Stop catastrophizing
Accept uncertainty and ambiguity
Use visualization and meditation
Stop thinking so much
Believe that God will do what he says he will do
Do the Word, don't just hear it
Turn off food commercials
Learn relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing
Stay away from goodies at work
Stand near the healthy food at parties
Concentrate on one change at a time
Accept that good health takes commitment and investment
Learn to say no
Get out of one-way relationships
Learn to be more assertive
Become more interested in others
Practice doing things that are uncomfortable
Refuse to play the victim role
Enlist the help of my family
Spend more time planning
Have a relapse recognition plan
Have a relapse prevention plan
Recognize complacency when it happens
Beware of rationalizations and compromises
Stop thinking that reaching your ideal weight is the end of the journey
Recognize when I start to isolate
Live in the moment
Practice spiritual disciplines-prayer, worship, confession, Bible study, giving, fasting, submission, service, forgiving
Stop eating with dangerous people
Take vitamins and supplements
Eat organic
Develop an emergency plan
Keep non-binge, healthy foods handy
Develop a week-end plan
Make phone calls
Love myself
Stand up more
Develop a pleasing appearance
Write down what I eat
Write down what I am going to eat
Do 12-step work
Set up rewards for small victories
Define when I will eat
Not get too hungry
Not get too angry
Not get too lonely
Not get too tired
Increase my faith
Believe God
Change my image of God
Be real and authentic
Reshuffle my friendships
Give and receive grace
Develop relationships a small step at a time
Turn my life over to God
Cry more
Cry more in front of others
Master my body
Embrace my humanness
Stop trying to change other people
Take baby steps
Start over every day
Look for and cherish my victories every day
Recognize and deal with any rebellion in my heart
Get a sponsor
Get a mentor
Get a personal trainer
Join a gym

Richard Roberts resigns as president of Oral Roberts University

Embattled Oral Roberts University President Richard Roberts resigned Friday following nearly two months of allegations that he and his family misused university and ministry resources.

In his resignation letter, Roberts states: "I love ORU with all my heart. I love the students, faculty, staff and administration and I want to see God's best for all of them."

Roberts' letter, sent to the Board of Regents, states his resignation was effective Friday. The board is meeting Monday and Tuesday to determine its search process for a new president, university spokesman Jeremy Burton said in a statement.

"Executive Regent Billy Joe Daugherty will continue to assume administrative responsibilities of the office of the president, working together with Chancellor Oral Roberts, until the regents meeting," Burton stated.

The announcement follows weeks of bad news for Roberts and the university, including an overwhelming faculty vote of "no confidence" in Roberts and a statement by Provost Mark Lewandowski that he would resign if Roberts were allowed to return.

Several faculty members said Friday they had heard the board was poised to vote next week on whether to retain Roberts as president. He has been on a leave of absence since Oct. 17, a few weeks after three former professors filed a lawsuit against him, ORU and other defendants in Tulsa County District Court.

Rhae Buckley, president of the ORU Alumni Association board, said he hopes the university moves quickly to find a new president.

"I'm not surprised. I know that Richard really loved the university and he wants to do what he feels is right for the university," Buckley said.

Cornell Cross, an ORU student who filed a suit against the university last week, said: "It's an excellent second step in fixing the university. Now we just need the board to continue to do what is expected of them."

Among other claims, Cross' suit alleges his degree has been devalued by the controversy.

John Swails, one of the plaintiffs in the lawsuit filed by the former professors Oct. 2, said Friday he was "completely taken by surprise" when he heard Roberts had resigned. Swails was professor and chairman of the history, humanities and government department before he was fired.

"I felt like from all the indications this was going to be a fight to the very last. ... It's kind of sad that it has come to this. Based on what we know, for the good of the university he should have stepped down much, much earlier. I understand that students are leaving and money is diminishing."

ORU announced recently it was $52 million in debt.

Tulsa attorney Gary Richardson, who filed the suit on behalf of Swails and two others, said he expected Roberts to resign.

"To those that know what the evidence is that's come forth and those who know what is anticipated to follow, it's absolutely no surprise. We wouldn't have been surprised had it happened weeks ago."

Richardson said the lawsuit will continue, regardless of Roberts' resignation. He said the plaintiffs are open to mediating the lawsuit's claims.

"It could be a move in the right direction to be able maybe one day sit down and discuss mediation," he said.

The other plaintiffs in the lawsuit are Timothy Brooker, who coordinated ORU's government program, and his wife, Paulita Brooker, an adjunct professor who was first hired for the ORU School of Lifelong Education.

They sued ORU, Roberts, Lewandowski, Dean Wendy Shirk and Vice Provost Jeff Ogle. The former professors also claim that the Board of Regents neglected to properly oversee ORU, Roberts and administrators.

The lawsuit claims that Roberts required Brooker to make his students work for Tulsa mayoral candidate Randi Miller's campaign, in violation of laws that prohibit nonprofit groups from getting involved in partisan political campaigns. It also claims the professors were fired or forced out after they brought the board a report containing a variety of allegations against Roberts and his wife, Lindsay.

The report contained allegations of misspending by the pair, including a $39,000 shopping tab at one store for Lindsay, a $29,411 Bahamas senior trip on the ministry jet for one of the Roberts' daughters, and a stable of horses for the Roberts' daughters.

Roberts issued a rebuttal to some of the lawsuit's allegations, saying many of the claims are either false or are misconstruing actual events. Roberts said some of the claims came from a report by his sister-in-law, Stephanie Cantees, who was paid to report rumors she had heard about ORU or the ministry.

An outside firm is conducting an investigation of the university. Sources said the report may be released to regents at their meeting next week.

By Ziva Branstetter, World Projects Editor (From Tulsa World)

To see the actual lawsuit filed against Richard Roberts, click here.

domestic violence

This is a good site that describes various types of abuse that can happen within a relationship, and what to do about it. http://www.domesticviolence.org/violence-wheel/.

Ultimately, domestic violence is one person's attempt to get and keep control in a relationship.

The wheel enumerates various types of violence: coercion and threats, intimidation, emotional abuse, enforced isolation, minimizing/denying/rationalizing, using the children, economic abuse, and "male privelege."

meet u there

by Olivia Doan, age 14







I'm over here
Ur over there
Let's meet halfway

Or just stand
Stand where we are
Not get any closer

I know why
'Cause it's just too hard
Too hard to try

It's hard for me
And hard for u
But let's both put in effort
'Cause it's only fair

And i'll meet u there

Phone Phantom

One person that i counsel on the phone said i was like the phone phantom because they hear my voice but don't see me. Then she got the bright idea to write words to the song, "Music of the Night," from Phatom of the Opera.

Tell me
Secrets
Let your life unfold here
Wounds and
Secrets
That you have been hiding
Turn your thoughts away
From the many ways you’ve failed
Bring your wounded life into God’s holy light
Help me teach you how to make it right

Isn't that special?? :)

money and preachers

Senator Chuck Grassley of Iowa sent letters to a half-dozen Christian media ministries earlier this week requesting answers by Dec. 6 about their expenses, executive compensation and amenities, including use of fancy cars and private jets.

In a statement, Grassley said he was acting on complaints from the public and news coverage of the organizations.

"The allegations involve governing boards that aren't independent and allow generous salaries and housing allowances and amenities such as private jets and Rolls Royces," Grassley said.

"I don't want to conclude that there's a problem, but I have an obligation to donors and the taxpayers to find out more. People who donated should have their money spent as intended and in adherence with the tax code."

Those ministries that responded Tuesday either said they were cooperating or committed to financial transparency and following the law.

The investigation promises to shine new light on the kind of TV ministries that were crippled by sex and money scandals in the 1980s. Experts also say it stands out as an unusual case of the government probing the inner workings of religious organizations.

Most of those under investigation preach a variation of the "prosperity gospel," the teaching that God will shower faithful followers with material riches.

Grassley's letters went to:

• Kenneth and Gloria Copeland of Kenneth Copeland Ministries of Newark, Texas, a $20 million organization and prosperity gospel pioneer. Questions were raised about the transfer of church assets to a for-profit company, Security Patrol Inc., a $1 million loan from Gloria Copeland to the group, and a "personal gift" of more than $2 million given to Kenneth Copeland to mark the ministry's 40th anniversary. A Copeland spokeswoman released a statement saying the ministry is working on a response to Grassley's letter, follows all laws and best practices governing churches and religious nonprofit groups, and "will continue to do so."

• Creflo and Taffi Dollar of World Changers Church International and Creflo Dollar Ministries of College Park, Ga. Grassley's letter asks for records on private planes, board makeup, compensation and donations and "love offerings" to visiting ministers. In a statement, Dollar called his ministry an "open book" and said he would cooperate. He also questioned whether the investigation could "affect the privacy of every community church in America."

• Benny Hinn of World Healing Center Church Inc. and Benny Hinn Ministries of Grapevine, Texas, is asked about use of a private jet, a home in Dana Point, Calif. and "layover trips" while traveling on ministry business. Hinn did not respond to requests for comment.

• Bishop Eddie Long of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church and Bishop Eddie Long Ministries of Lithonia, Ga., was questioned about his salary, a $1.4 million real estate transaction and whether he, and not the board, holds sole authority over the organization. Long plans to fully comply with the Senate's request, and his church has "several safeguards" to ensure transactions comply with laws governing churches, according to a statement from Long's spokesman.

• Joyce and David Meyer of Joyce Meyer Ministries of Fenton, Mo., who were quizzed about receiving donations of money and jewelry and the handling of cash from overseas crusades. They also were asked about expenditures at ministry headquarters, including a $30,000 conference table and a $23,000 "commode with marble top."
The ministry's lawyer released a statement describing the ministry's work and public release of several years' worth of audits. He also said the IRS found in October that the group continues to qualify for tax-exempt status.

• Randy and Paula White of the multiracial Without Walls International Church and Paula White Ministries of Tampa, Fla. are asked about home purchases in San Antonio, Texas, Malibu, Calif., and New York, credit card charges for clothing and cosmetic surgery and the reported purchase of a Bentley convertible as a gift for Bishop T.D. Jakes, a prominent Texas preacher and televangelist. An e-mail to a spokeswoman for Jakes was not immediately returned.
In a statement, Randy and Paula White declined to comment on specifics, saying they needed time to review the letter with their lawyers. But the Whites called the Grassley letter "unusual, since the IRS has separate powers to investigate religious organizations if they think it's necessary."

Hinn, Kenneth Copeland and Creflo Dollar all sit on the board of regents for Oral Roberts University, which is mired in a financial scandal of its own.

The Senate Finance Committee has chided secular nonprofits for governance and compensation problems in the past, but this level of scrutiny for what are basically "non-pulpit churches" is unprecedented, said Ken Behr, president of the Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability.
Because the groups have tax status as churches, they are not required to file tax forms open to public inspection.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071107/ap_on_go_co/televangelist_probe

Daughter to Father!!

Wow. I just stumbled upon this song. Never heard it before. I haven't cried like that in a looong time... :) For real. Get ur tissues out.